Alcohhol addiction is a huge national problem. Many people recognize alcoholism as the unkempt person living in a box under a bridge. This is the life alcohol addiction may lead to but is not the majority of active alcoholics. Alcoholism is a "cunning, baffling and powerful " disease. Alcoholism doesn't care if you are smart, tall, rich, poor, male, female, employed, unemployed, old, young, married or single.
Some of the symptoms of alcohol dependence include: increased tolerance, increased usage, withdrawal 12 hours after use, relying on the substance to manage feeling or alter mood, using alcohol even when the consequences are large, not being able to recognize the effects or the extent to which alcohol runs choices.
There is evidence that it has a genetic predisposition. Although there is no cure for this disease, but it can be kept in remission by not drinking. If an alcoholic begins to drink again, he/she will return to the previous level of disease quickly and it will likely get worse soon. It is the nature of the disease, not a matter of morals or an issue of intent. some alcoholic drink daily, even large amounts, and keep a job. They may be business owners, lawyers, doctors, teachers, waiters, police officers etc. The family and the alcoholic are affected by the disease anyway. (More about that next time.)
There is a good books on the subject - Understanding the Functional Alcoholic, The Invisible Alcoholic and Drinking, A Love Story, the "big book" Alcoholics Anonymous, to name a few.

Grown ups forget sometimes that playing has a strong positive power. Watch children at play. It is a time to create, invent, be who you dream of being. Play is a way of working out feelings. For example, a young boy who has been hit by a caretaker might benefit from slaying dragons. There is a lot of power in being a dragon slayer. A child might feel "less than" if he/she has a handicap or less resources than other children. Playing king or queen levels the field. Children like to make up or change the rules of  game so they can win or have the power to set the rules. Adults do this sometimes in card games or golf.

As people get older, they still work out things by playing. For adults it is called role playing. It is helpful to rehearse how you want to be at a job interview so you will present yourself as the competent, knowledgeable person you can be... even if you don't feel that way when you are anxious. People learn from trying different things. The more fun it is, the faster they learn and the easier it is to try new things.

I recommend finding some ways to play. Relax. Let your imagination loose. Do something different and see ho

Compassion seems to be under-rated these days. There is so much in the news, on TV and the internet about satisfying individual needs and what harm people do to others in the procress. Things like car wrecks from talking on the cell, rapes, murders out of revenge or robbery for drug money.
  The Dali Lama said, "If you want to be happy, practice compassion". Not only does relating to others with understanding and feeling create happiness but it is physically relaxing and healing as well. Buddhists have known this for centuries. Modern medicine can support it with hard data now.
I was interested in reading about some new studies (ODE magazine July/August 2011) that support positive coaching as a way people learn more quickly and achieve better results. It engages people in their own progress and feeling cared about reduces anxiety which frees the mond and body to perform. Stress reduces when people, women especially, turn their thoughts to others needs. It could be that putting others needs first, directs thoughts outward so there is less worry internally.
Compassion can be practiced anywhere. More is better when practicing compassion. Give it a try. Remember the other person is looking for happiness too. He/she doesn't want to suffer but does experience sadness and loss just like you. Both of you are learning about live as you live it. As Donna told me once, "The world is full of people running around trying to get their needs met. Sometimes they bump into each other."
Some follow up reading is Harry Palmer: Resurfacing: Techniques for Exploring Consciousness; Dacher Keltner, Born to be Good; Charles Darwin,The Descent of Man, Kristin Neff,

Tips for Your Emotional Health Part 1

There are lots of things you can read or hear about health. Sometimes people forget that emotional health  affects everything including your decisions, your family, your faith and your physical health ( more on that another time).

I am listing a few simple ideas to help you improve your emotional health.

* Love freely.Give someone you care about a hug and a thank you for being in your life. Be open to possibilities that enrich your life.

* Be respectful. Take care to avoid stepping on other's toes and to make sure that your needs count equally in all that you do.

* Take quiet moments. Find time in your day to be still inside and out. Meditate with deep breathing. Relax in the shade. Soak in the tub. Watch the grass grow.

* Exercise. Get some oxygen in your brain and relieve physical and emotional stress on a regular basis. Mind and body are connected.

* Name your felings. Tell someone each day how you feel by naming the feeling. Connecting with another person reduces isolation and helps you feel grounded.

Try these for 2 weeks and see how you feel. More ideas will be in the next blog.

What do you think of yourself?
Each person learns about who they are and how they are thought of by others through what they see, experience and what they are told. When a toddler puts a toy in the basket and Mom says, "What a big boy!", the child laughs and smiles at the praise. When a sixth grader helps a friend with a new computer game, she feels confident and is happy about knowing something helpful. As adults, when a couple donates time and money to a non-profit that helps feed the homeless, they feel a healthy pride in doing the right thing.
Developing high regard for one's self (self-esteem) requires both thought and action. Acting in a way that matches your values can only happen when you know what is right and wrong. People learn right and wrong from what people around them do and from the consequences of their decisions. This happens within the person, in the family, the church, the school and the community. Each person then makes a decision about what he takes in and what he rejects from that information. When someone is often told she is bad or wrong, especially at an early age, it is very hard to believe she has value. Hopefully, those negative messages change through the other places to learn about herself.
Behavior and value rules may be different from one family or community than another. When someone feels "different", it is hard to believe he has value. It is helpful to find other like-minded people or people who are open to differentness.  It is possible to learn how to see your own value even when those around you don't but it may require help from someone who believes in you. Try noticing each day what you do that you believe has value.
Live consciously. Speak kindly to yourself and others. Learn as you go.